to know i want you.

at the beginning it was a blur;

i knew you were someone special,

i knew you would mean a lot.

i knew you were a friend;

one who i can trust,

a shoulder i can lean on,

an ear to listen,

arms to hug.

i didn’t know, however,

how much i loved you.

you took my hand,

and that’s when i knew.

a touch is all it took,

to know i want you;

to know i love you.


the meaning of love.

so you know how in spanish there are different words to say “love”?

there’s the word “amar” which means to love your significant other, and there’s also the word “querer” which is to love anyone special to you (friends or family).

well, there should be a word like “amar” in english, because “love” gets overused too much.

it also loses it’s meaning when said to your significant other, so i try not to say it often, it means more.

xx zez

love or lust?

love is a choice, not a feeling.

lust is the feeling.

love is a what you maintain after lust fades away.

lust goes away, you need to be willing to stay.

lust is something you need to keep alive once you choose to love.

love is there at all times, not just when you want.

love is the choice you make after feeling lust,

that’s what love is.

xx zez

it starts with the parents.

it starts with the parents. all the insecurities in people are planted through them. all the doubts of wondering if they’re not good enough are created by them. some may argue that it’s social media that makes people think less of themselves, but it really starts with the parents and how parents treat their children. parents are a big influence, if not the biggest influence people have. the way people raise their kids and talk to their kids should change, it’ll stop a lot of problems in our society. i know that’s a big statement, but from what i’ve observed, i believe my opinion is the right one. stop blaming social media for things people have allowed.

this journey called life.

today a speaker at my school told us to write down things that make us who we are on a piece of paper. the good and the bad. the happy and sad. she reminded us that no matter what was written on the paper and no matter how bad it was, that God loves us no matter what. that we have a purpose. that we’re not alone. it was a beautiful thing. even when it seems we’re alone, God’s there the whole time. He’s there through the tough times, even when we reject Him, He’s always there for us. we’re undeserving but that’s the power of His love for us. it’s great to know we’re not alone on this journey called life.

great & unique words.

Sidereal – of the distant stars.

Vertigo – a sensation of loss of balance.

Moonglade – the track of moonlight.

Anagapesis – no longer feeling affection for someone you loved.

Catharsis – the process of releasing repressed emotions through art.

Eccedentesiast – someone who hides pain behind a smile.

Clinquant – glittering with gold and silver.

Cathect – to invest emotion or feeling in an idea, object or person.

Orphic – mysterious; beyond ordinary understanding.

Boketto – the act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking.

Aeipathy – an enduring and consuming passion.

Kalopsia – the delusion of things being more beautiful than they are.

Saudade – the feeling of longing for someone who you love, which is lost.

Apricity – the warmth of the sun in winter.

Charmolypi – a mixed feeling of happiness while being sad.

Elysian – beautiful or creative; divinely inspired; peaceful and perfect.

Trouvaille – something lovely discovered by chance.

Quixotic – extravagantly romantic.

Sweven – a dream; a vision in sleep.

Phosphenes – the colors or stars you see when you rub your eyes.

Feuillemort – the color of a dying leaf.

Appetence – an attraction or natural bond.

Arcadian – simple and untroubled by fear or worry.

Occhiolism – the awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

Melomanie – an excessive love and deep attraction to music.

Taciturn – reserved or uncommunicative in speech; saying little.

Nedovtipa – someone who cannot take a hint.

Zemblanity – the inevitable discovery of something you would rather not know.

Blatherskite – a person who talks a lot without making much sense.

Nepenthe – something that can make you forget grief or suffering.

Alexithymia – the inability to verbally express your feelings.

Absquatulate – to leave without saying goodbye.

Acatalepsy – the idea that it is impossible to truly comprehend anything.

Solivagant – to wander alone.

Aeonian – eternal; everlasting.

Coruscate – to reflect brilliantly; to sparkle.

Jeremiad – a long, mournful complaint.

Ineffable – too great to be expressed in words.

Pluviophile – a lover of rain: who finds peace of mind during rainy days.

Insouciant – free from worry, concern, or anxiety.

Querencia – a place where one feels safe.

Amaranthine – eternally beautiful.

Kalon – beauty that is more than skin-deep.

i believe it now.

i’m done caring.

i like to think that you care as much for me that i do for you. the truth is you don’t and you never will. part of me thinks that it’s because you don’t try one bit, but even if you do try, you don’t get across and i don’t think it ever will. my mistake was to not believe you when you acted like you didn’t care. because it wasn’t acting, it’s true. i believe it now.

xo zez

everything could stop.

i took this picture thinking about the boundaries between nature and man-made things. the thing is, there really isn’t a boundary between the two, the two have become one. the setting of this picture is in my neighborhood, where this land was destroyed in order to make the highway. the two are so close, touching even. the trees and plants are living now, but dying really. i took this as a reminder that nothing lasts forever. that in every sense, you could stop existing at any moment. “everything could stop”.

xo zez