it starts with the parents. all the insecurities in people are planted through them. all the doubts of wondering if they’re not good enough are created by them. some may argue that it’s social media that makes people think less of themselves, but it really starts with the parents and how parents treat their children. parents are a big influence, if not the biggest influence people have. the way people raise their kids and talk to their kids should change, it’ll stop a lot of problems in our society. i know that’s a big statement, but from what i’ve observed, i believe my opinion is the right one. stop blaming social media for things people have allowed.
make up your mind and just say it so i’ll stop waiting.
today a speaker at my school told us to write down things that make us who we are on a piece of paper. the good and the bad. the happy and sad. she reminded us that no matter what was written on the paper and no matter how bad it was, that God loves us no matter what. that we have a purpose. that we’re not alone. it was a beautiful thing. even when it seems we’re alone, God’s there the whole time. He’s there through the tough times, even when we reject Him, He’s always there for us. we’re undeserving but that’s the power of His love for us. it’s great to know we’re not alone on this journey called life.
you can call it what you want but i call it moving on.
Sidereal – of the distant stars.
Vertigo – a sensation of loss of balance.
Moonglade – the track of moonlight.
Anagapesis – no longer feeling affection for someone you loved.
Catharsis – the process of releasing repressed emotions through art.
Eccedentesiast – someone who hides pain behind a smile.
Clinquant – glittering with gold and silver.
Cathect – to invest emotion or feeling in an idea, object or person.
Orphic – mysterious; beyond ordinary understanding.
Boketto – the act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking.
Aeipathy – an enduring and consuming passion.
Kalopsia – the delusion of things being more beautiful than they are.
Saudade – the feeling of longing for someone who you love, which is lost.
Apricity – the warmth of the sun in winter.
Charmolypi – a mixed feeling of happiness while being sad.
Elysian – beautiful or creative; divinely inspired; peaceful and perfect.
Trouvaille – something lovely discovered by chance.
Quixotic – extravagantly romantic.
Sweven – a dream; a vision in sleep.
Phosphenes – the colors or stars you see when you rub your eyes.
Feuillemort – the color of a dying leaf.
Appetence – an attraction or natural bond.
Arcadian – simple and untroubled by fear or worry.
Occhiolism – the awareness of the smallness of your perspective.
Melomanie – an excessive love and deep attraction to music.
Taciturn – reserved or uncommunicative in speech; saying little.
Nedovtipa – someone who cannot take a hint.
Zemblanity – the inevitable discovery of something you would rather not know.
Blatherskite – a person who talks a lot without making much sense.
Nepenthe – something that can make you forget grief or suffering.
Alexithymia – the inability to verbally express your feelings.
Absquatulate – to leave without saying goodbye.
Acatalepsy – the idea that it is impossible to truly comprehend anything.
Solivagant – to wander alone.
Aeonian – eternal; everlasting.
Coruscate – to reflect brilliantly; to sparkle.
Jeremiad – a long, mournful complaint.
Ineffable – too great to be expressed in words.
Pluviophile – a lover of rain: who finds peace of mind during rainy days.
Insouciant – free from worry, concern, or anxiety.
Querencia – a place where one feels safe.
Amaranthine – eternally beautiful.
Kalon – beauty that is more than skin-deep.
i’m done caring.
i like to think that you care as much for me that i do for you. the truth is you don’t and you never will. part of me thinks that it’s because you don’t try one bit, but even if you do try, you don’t get across and i don’t think it ever will. my mistake was to not believe you when you acted like you didn’t care. because it wasn’t acting, it’s true. i believe it now.
i took this picture thinking about the boundaries between nature and man-made things. the thing is, there really isn’t a boundary between the two, the two have become one. the setting of this picture is in my neighborhood, where this land was destroyed in order to make the highway. the two are so close, touching even. the trees and plants are living now, but dying really. i took this as a reminder that nothing lasts forever. that in every sense, you could stop existing at any moment. “everything could stop”.
i really want to give up on people who don’t appreciate me. people that don’t value my friendship or at least make it seem that way.
i expect to be treated the same way i treat them. i used to think that the way i see someone is the same way they see and value me. i know i was wrong. i’m trying to change my mindset. to pay attention to the little things, because through those little things are the reality of who the person is.
i’ve been analyzing all my friendships, to see if they’re worth it. testing the waters. asking the questions. would they really be there for me as i would for them? are they willing to stay? do they actually care?
unfortunately, the answer to these questions for most of my friendships is no. but there are some friendships that are really tough to let go. i’m wanting to live it, even if it’s a lie, because i enjoy talking to them, even if they don’t enjoy talking to me.
it sucks to realize that in the end they really don’t care about me. that it’s just pretend. that they’re great actors.
– sunsets –
through all the colors in the sunset,
the blue & bright times of your day are reflected
& they leave hope for tomorrow:
the future sunset,
the future better.
something about them
makes you feel:
i think it’s the feeling of God’s presence,
you can see Him through the beauty of His creation.
He lets you know you’re never alone
& you can feel Him by your side.
it’s a wonderful feeling.
i love sunsets.
if you know me, you’d think my life is pretty great, but i’ve always had the bad stuff. and i tend to focus on the bad stuff. it’s probably not a good thing or even healthy, but that’s how my mind works. i can’t help it.
i put on a smile for the world, but that’s not how i feel on the inside. and i catch myself sometimes, it’s this weird feeling in my stomach of pretending i’m someone else. and for a moment there i don’t know who i really am.
you’d think i’m one of those people that’s happy all the time, but that’s not how it is. i hold it in, but there gets to a point where i can’t hold it in anymore. so i break down and cry, which happens more often than you’d think, and i drop the smile because it’s fake and that’s not who i want to be. but once i let the tears out, the acting scene starts again.
i force myself to think of the good things though. the good things may not have shaped my life or where i am now, but those good things do add to my life’s sense of meaning. so i’m thankful for the good things. because, because of them, i know it’ll be okay in the future. all my hard work will pay off. if i just wait. it will all be worth it.